seanbonnerdotcom
May 25, 2004
REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

New York, NY
6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a Military Deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Freedom Fries served
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
9:30 PM break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Carl Rove Lecture: Doublespeak Made Simple
10:30 PM Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer in headlights stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

Posted by sean on May 25, 2004 10:11 AM | View blog reactions
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Comments

keep 'em coming ... anything ANYTHING we can do to get rid of Bush and his entourage makes me feel better ... but watch those billions coming for propaganda ads soon ...

Posted by: roger on August 19, 2004 03:09 PM

THE PURPLE HEART BANDAIDS OUR TO BIG, NEED TO GO DOWN ONE SIZE. WHEN KERRY'S FRIENDS LAY DIEING ON THE FIELD OF BATTEL, MISSING ARMS & LEGS, CRYING OUT FOR THERE MOTHERS AND BEST FRIENDS "COME HELP ME IM BURNNIG." AND THEN THERE IS NO MORE SOUND. KERRY WAS GETING A SMALL SPLENTER REMOVED FROM HIS ARM THEN SAYING I WANT A PURPLE HART. GIVE THAT PURPLE HEART BACK . GIVE TO SOMEONE THAT REALY NEEDS IT.

Posted by: JIM chafin on September 1, 2004 07:35 PM

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Sean Bonner has been annoying people on the internet since 1994. Currently he lives in Los Angeles and is the co-founder of Metroblogging. Despite growing up in Bradenton, Yahoo! thinks he's the most important "Sean" on the internets. He's sick of labels. This was his blog until sometime in 2007 when it broke. Check out seanbonner.com for current stuff.


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