I got a new tattoo today, and since a few people have asked me about it and I'm guessing it will only bring more questions I wanted to try to vocalize a bit of what led me to the point of getting this thing permanently inked on my body.

First, a bit of background. All of the tattoos I have are extremely personal, they all mean a great deal to me to the extent that I'm actually a little uncomfortable talking about them too much in public. If they end up meaning something to someone else that's fine, but it's really about what they mean to me. That's the important thing, and that's why I have them. I also came to terms a very long time ago with the fact that my opinions and feelings on things change, but tattoos represent a part of my life when I felt very strongly about something, so even if views change later, a tattoo is a good reminder of how I used to think and that's an important thing not to forget. It's good to kick yourself in the ass with that stuff from time to time to keep you from gettng too high and mighty. People often like to think that the opinion they have at the moment is the best one and the only one they have ever had, we all know that isn't the case. We learn, we grow, and our feelings change with that. I have tattoos that I wouldn't get today, but I wouldn't get them removed because they are a reminder of a time or of something that was very important to me. I don't want to be able to pretend any of it wasn't sometime in the future.

So that's some general background on my feelings on my tattoos in general. For the piece I'm getting today specifically... well that's not a simple answer. It's multifaceted to say the least. But here's some of it...

First the obvious. Religion has been a big part of my life for a very long time. My family is very Catholic, one of my aunts is a nun, they are all very active in church, etc. Religion was a big part of my childhood. I went to private religious schools growing up and believed everything I was told. I was talking with a friend the other day and she noted that simply saying "I was raised _____" says a lot about how much say you had in the matter. And this is true. I was a good little Catholic boy. I was even an alter boy. Then one day I started asking questions. Asking too many questions is what causes faith to fall apart. I asked "why" and no one could come up with a better answer than "because." Yeah, because. Well, that just isn't good enough. It's hardly a good enough reason to decide what you want for dinner, and certainly not a good enough to base your life on. Not for me anyway.

The more people I talked to about this, the more shocked I was. People were telling me the Bible said something so that was the reason for their actions, but I'd ask them where and they couldn't point it out. I started realizing that a lot of "religion" was not the scriptures that were supposed to be central to it all, but were all about the accessory "stuff" that had no basis in anything. And worse, most of the "faithful" that I talked to didn't know basic facts about their own religion, and were really not happy with me pointing that out to them. Seems to me if you are committing your life to something, you should actually know something about it. Unfortunately I seem to be in the minority with that opinion. I've read the Bible cover to cover 3 times and I'm an Atheist. I know people who call themselves Christians who have never read it once.

When the Intelligent Design thing started making the rounds I was pretty insulted, it was faux science masquerading around as the big *gotcha* which is wasn't. it was just the same wolf in a different sheep's clothing. I knew the arguments about what was in the Bible and what wasn't, but how do you use logic to argue fiction? I was looking at it from the wrong direction because you can't. You have to use more fiction. Luckily Bobby Henderson saw this right away and when he wrote about the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I was delighted. It was exactly the reaction that was needed. ID is a joke, and I was taking it too seriously rather than just laughing it off. (you can read all about that here if you want more background on the FSM)

Skip ahead a year, or two, or whatever. My marriage is ending and my entire world is changing. I'm reminding myself on a daily basis that the most important thing is thinking for yourself, and making the decisions that make sense to you - not what someone else has told you. By chance I was hanging out with Micki Krimmel, talking about some of this, and she suggested we get FSM tattoos and it made perfect sense to me. The FSM is the ideal example of thinking for yourself and not buying the bullshit but also about not taking yourself too seriously. These are all reminders that are good to have.

Not taking yourself too seriously is a big part of this. It's a fucking pasta monster for crying out loud. Going back to my earlier mention about growing and learning, I often find that the people who take themselves so seriously are the ones who refuse to admit they might have ever had a different opinion or, gasp, that they may have been wrong. I fall into this trap myself sometimes, but I'm trying to recognize it when it happens, and I know that I don't know all the answers. I don't even know half of them, but I am trying to do what I think is the best thing to do at any given moment. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm not. But a regular reminder not to take myself too seriously is a good thing. The more often I admit that I make mistakes, the better off I am. In fact I'm going to start making more mistakes just so I can fess up them more often.

So yes it's about Atheism, but it's also about thinking for yourself and it is a reminder that you should not take yourself to seriously. Micki and I hunted down an artist here in LA that we wanted to hire to do the tattoos and made appointments. This was supposed to be something we did together but she had second thoughts and I'm the only one who actually did it. That's a good thing though, admitting your mind isn't made up before making such a permanent decision. It also kinda fits in with the rest of my life these days, something I was planning to do with someone else but ended up doing alone. I'm OK with that, and years down the line it will serve as a good reminder of some of the things I've gone through this year. Maybe some of it will still be going on, maybe some of it will be long left in the past, but my FSM will be with me as a silent, steady reminder.