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09/15/2002 Entry: "Killed By Death"

I know I promised a big rant about some vague and specific music industry crap last week, or two weeks ago but it's just not going to happen any time soon. Caryn and I are spending just about every waking hour at the gallery, building walls, painting them, moping, sealing and finishing the floors, and trying to move all the offices into one place. Needless to say, I'm been a little busy. If you are in LA, swing by when it opens and see what all the who-ha is about.

What I will talk about is how much I want to kick one of my neeighbors in the shins. I'm going to preface that with some history. Back in college I lived with a friend who would later go on to be my best man when I got married (and later I would have no good excuse for missing his wedding all together, something that really bugs me to this day). It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The best being pretty much everything, the worst being when he would sleep over at his girlfriends house. That was the worst because I had to get up around 9-10am. He had to get up around 7-8am. If he didn't reset his alarm right when he work up, he'd forget to that night and oversleep and be late for some class about calculating the speed of electrons or something. Anyway, you see where this is heading. He'd set the alarm then stay someplace else. Next morning, the alarm, having already been set would go off at 7am. *beep* *beep* *beep* And keep going off. *beep* *beep* *beep* Of course there's no way to sleep through that, so I'd have to get up and go turn it off. Then I'd never get back to sleep and miss out on many hours of sleep. This was annoying the first time. It sucked the second time. By the 10th time I was ready for revenge.

Rather than just hitting off, I decided it would be more effective to kick the alarm across the room. The noise stopped. He came home, plugged it back in and it worked. A week or so later, same thing happened. This time I used a baseball bat. He came home, plugged it back in and it worked. Next time I yanked it from the wall, tied it to his ceiling fan and turned it on HIGH until it flew off into his wall. He came home, plugged it back in and it worked. Next time I took it into the kitchen, held it under the faucet until I was sure it was filled with water and tossed it into the freezer. That night he came home, put it un the microwave to thaw it, plugged it back in and it worked. The final straw was one January morning when it was FREEZING in our place and I had to get out of my warm bed to attend to this alarm. I took it, when out on the porch, and threw the fucking thing out in the street. I'm pretty sure a few cars hit it before ee came home, found it outside, brought it in, plugged it back in and it worked. At that point I gave up. The stupid alarm clock had beaten me. On the lighter note, I went and bought one just like it because damn, that is the most reliable clock I've ever seen.

Anyway, skip ahead 10 years or so. I now live in an apartment in Los Angeles. Without fail, every Saturday and Sunday, 7am, some ass head's alarm goes off. I know it's going off because he/she lives right next to me and obviously stays somewhere else, leaving all their windows open and the alarm, which probably usually gets them up for work, still set. Two big problems here are I can't pinpoint which apartment it's coming from. It could be any one of 12 that all have windows facing mine. And, more importnatly, I can't just walk in and turn it off. It keeps going, and going for TWO LONG HOURS, then auto shuts off right at 9am. This is good because I can finally get some peace, but bad because that loser comes home to a quiet house and never knows the chaos hes/shes caused. At least if it just kept going they might come home and think "oh crap! this has been going off for hours" but no, they get away scott free thanks to the auto off. I orginally wanted to find tha apartment and leave them a note taped to the door. Two months later now I want to tape the note to a rock and fire it through their freaking window. Not that I would ever do anything like that, or condone that sort of action.

I know it's going to happen again tomorrow, and I WILL findout where it's coming from.

Replies: 2 people with an opinion

Being the 'Friend' I will testify to both my incredible selfishness and insensitivity but also to that damn alarm, it was cracked! the 8 's looked like s's! but it got beat to hell and it would ring like divine justice but I hope you find the bastard and give to them good

Posted by Anatol Blass @ 09/15/2002 09:51 PM PST

Damn, I wish my alarm was that reliable. My sinuses are more reliable than my alarm.

We had a *ucker upstairs in my dorm whose alarm would go off every Saturday and Sunday at SIX am. After about the eighth call for the RA's to key in and shut it off, there was finally A Talk. Wish I had been there.

Best of luck. And if you get your hands on it, go straight to the car method of getting rid of the alarm.

Posted by IcyNymph @ 09/15/2002 08:34 PM PST

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