01/30/2003 Entry: "hunk of crap"

See, I told you I'd redesign the site this week. Actually, it's not so much a redesign as it is a facelift. The layout and all is still much the same, it just looks different. I am however reworking a few of the sections, and adding more to them, so the "real" content of the site should beef up a bit here in a little while. Look for more starbucks and crap like that. Not now though, it's still the same now as it was yesterday. I did actually add a BUNCH of links into the thanks page, as well as kill the old "links" page so that's one major improvement as far as I'm concerned.

I'm glad I was actually able to spend a little time working on that over the last few days. It gave me something to think about other than the obvious. What is the obvious? Nothing good. Last thursday a really good friend of mine, Craig, died very suddenly and as of yet without any identifiable reason. Completely unexpected. Now, I don't consider myself much of an emotional guy. Things generally don't get to me on anything deeper than a "thats really annoying" level. Even people I've known in the past who have died haven't gotten to me that much, it's just life right? This did though. I'm not sure why or even that I want to know, but here I am, a week after hearing and I'm still pretty much in shock.

I'd only known him for about a year and half, and only considered him a good friend over the last 8 months or so, but he was definitely one of the kindest, nicest, most genuine people I've ever known. I feel really fortunate to have had that time with him. If I had moved to LA one year later I would have missed that chance and I'm really, really greatful that wasn't the case, and at the same time feel cheated (is that the right word?) that I'm not going to get to know him any further. I keep expecting him to walk into the gallery at any moment, or to get an e-mail from him. I know it's not going to happen but it hasn't really sunk in. I keep thinking about his wife (of 20 some years) and where this leaves her. I don't even know what I would do if all the sudden one day Caryn was just gone. It's unthinkable. I guess it's this kind of stuff that really makes you look around and think about what you see and what that all means to you. It still sucks though.

Sorry about that. I haven't really talked to anyone besides Caryn about it much. That and I've had a fuck of a sinus cold all weekend. But hey, at least they are slashing prices at apple.

This should put a smile back on your face, assuming you already know about this.